He looked at her photo in the paper. In the Obituary section. He could not believe his eyes. She was so young. He wondered what had gone wrong. A part of him wanted to reach out to the family, to ask about her and how she had died. But that was a closed chapter and there was no point in going there.
He turned his attention to the rest of the paper and the day. But the image would not leave him. It tugged at the corners of his mind causing ripples in his thoughts. He was distracted all day. His colleagues commented on it. His wife commented on it. Even his children commented on it. He tried to push away the memories and thoughts, but each time he tried they came back flooding his mind and thoughts, distracting him and demanding his attention.
As he lay down to sleep that night he finally allowed his mind to slip back to that soft and gentle evening over 35 years ago. He had completed his education and was in a good job, which naturally had become a signal for everyone to start seeking a bride for him. He was neutral. He had an easy-going nature and was fairly adaptable. He had heard of the fiery passions of love marriages, but never one to buck the trend, he was quite content to let his family suggest a girl. He would meet her, no doubt. He would have to like her… But for the rest, he was content to let things flow.
A family friend had had called his father a short while ago. They claimed to have found a wonderful girl for him. She was smart and sophisticated and highly educated. An intellectual. She was a talented artist and played the violin too. In his parents’ mind, it was perfect. The icing on the cake was that it was a known family from the same city. They were impatient to make a move, to approach her parents.
But it was not quite so simple. The friend of the family cautioned them. The girl was reluctant to marry someone through a arranged marriage. It did not matter how perfect the boy, she was simply not willing to have an arranged marriage. So the friends had hatched a plan. They would host dinner for the two families one evening and when the boy and girl met, she simply would not find any reason to refuse him. They came to him with the plan and he objected. She would be the only one who did not know the scheme. He felt uncomfortable with the pretence, but his objections were swept aside.
And so, the evening was planned. They met on the lawns of the club. It was a cool December evening and a soft breeze was blowing. The lighting was muted, and the ambience was perfect. As they had greeted each other, he had sought some sign that she knew what this was about, but she seemed quite natural.
He remembered her well. She was small made, petite would perhaps be the best word. She was not beautiful, in fact there was perhaps nothing striking about her. She had a soft, well-modulated voice and pleasing, gentle manners. She was intelligent and although she rarely spoke her comments were intelligent and well thought out.
He found himself thinking that he could make this marriage work. It would be pleasant, gentle and calm. He had not fallen in love with her. She was not the kind of person who would attract deep passions, he thought to himself. She was not someone whom people would gravitate to or would turn around to look at twice. Yet, there seemed a quietness about her, a gentleness that was pleasing and comforting.
Just as these thoughts were running through his mind, he sensed a change in mood. A stray comment had laid bare the conspiracy and she knew why she was there. She said little, but her tone was more clipped, her gestures more tight and her eyes flashed with anger. He was amused. He had not thought her capable of strong emotions, but her eyes betrayed her. In many ways he found her more fascinating. The hidden emotions and the cracks in her control made him believe that perhaps marriage to her would be a little more exciting.
They had enjoyed their conversation and he was sure she would get over her annoyance once the evening was over. And much too soon for him, it was over. As he drove home with his parents, he was clear that he liked her and would be happy to marry her if she felt the same way. His parents were happy and started planning the marriage. After all, he was considered a catch and she would never turn him down.
But she did. The friends called up to say that much as she had liked him, she was upset at being deceived and would never agree to the marriage in those circumstances. His parents were angry. How dare she turn down their son and for such a trivial reason. They were ready to find someone else. But he refused. He wanted to give her time – six months, he said. His family was flabbergasted. Six months? To wait for a girl in an arranged marriage? When she had already said no? It made no sense at all.
But he was determined to wait. He had examined his emotions. He had not fallen in love with her. His reasons were not motivated by passion. It just seemed wrong to move on and meet another girl on another day. If she still said no, he would move on.
His family were convinced that this would change her mind. But that was not to be. He could wait if he wanted, came the reply, but the answer was still no.
He was still determined to wait. And wait he did. They passed like any other six months. Nothing special. It was not like he spent his time thinking about her. In fact she hardly crossed his mind. He was quite unsure why he decided to wait six months. He just knew that he wanted to do it. At the end of six months, the families spoke again… but there was no change in her mind. So, he picked up threads of his life and moved on.
A few years later he met the most wonderful girl and married her. She was smart, charming and full of life. They had a happy marriage and two wonderful children. The soft and gentle afternoon at the club was a faint memory like a soft breeze that strokes your cheek once in a while – so faint you barely know it is there. He heard through friends that she never did marry, but he had moved on and the knowledge made no difference.
Yet that evening, he lay awake his still shocked that she had passed away and his mind drifting back to the evening at the club and what might have been.
Ripples Of Life and Time 