In Every End there is a New Beginning

Blog 30 of 30

Masterpage turned 30.  Even now I find it hard to believe. In some ways, it feels like yesterday but in other ways, it feels like multiple lifetimes. I don’t remember growing older, but my children have grown up and left home and my fledgling business is 30 years old.

When I look back on all that I’ve done, I realize there have been many mistakes. There have been many opportunities that I missed. I remember someone reaching out to me to do abstracts of magazine articles for a large library in the US. It seemed like a great opportunity but required a fair amount of investment, so I turned it down. I know of another company who took such an opportunity and grew into a large successful business.

But my mistakes were not just about business decisions. In the initial years of Kreeda, I found myself getting sucked in more and more on weekends and was losing out on the children.  I chose to slow down. I told myself that it was OK to let the business grow slowly until the children left home. I assumed that then I would have long periods of time to do all the things I wanted to do. What I did not bargain for was the old folks at home. I merely exchanged one set of responsibilities for another. Then I learned that if I had to do things, I had to figure out how to balance things better. Maybe if I had learned that earlier Kreeda would have grown more.  

Another question I ask myself is if I made a mistake not growing Masterpage, not opening up another office and building a team across South India at least. I don’t know. 

There’s another incident that stands out in my life. At some point I was so busy at home that I delegated too much to a colleague of mine. She seemed competent and, on the surface, responsible. She kept me updated on everything, or so I thought until one day I discovered she had been stealing me blind. 

The day we started figuring it out, she left office early and, on her desk, we found a threat to commit suicide if we took things further. In spite of all the irregularities I found, I backed down. It ended up being a learning experience. I learned how to set better processes with checks and balances, so this never happened again. But I wonder, because of my not following through, did she go cheat someone else? What was my responsibility?

But I’ve always looked at life like this. We learn from our mistakes and grow. Maybe I did many things wrong, but I also did many things right. And today I look back on 30 years with a sense of pride. I may not have built up a huge profitable business, but I can say proudly that I have built up a brand – Kreeda – that has had thousands of people across our country take a fresh look at traditional games.

I can say that I participated in or contributed to, or spearheaded numerous social initiatives that have impacted hundreds and hundreds of people. I can say that I gave a number of women the space to work and balance home and career with no regrets. I can say that I used all that I learned over the years to make a difference to my own company – Power Centre. 

I can say I balanced my family and home and when my children and their friends remember happy times, I have no regrets. When I think of the times I spent with my parents, grandparents, and family I have no regrets, for many of them are too old to spend time with me now, in any meaningful way, and many have passed on. 

When I started writing this blog, I did not know if anyone would read it. It was for me, my own way of going back and looking at things because I believe that when you look back, with the wisdom of today, you see things more clearly. 

I am happy to know that many of you, many close friends of mine have been reading this blog and have been in touch with me enjoying some of the stories, relating to some of the incidents and understanding some of the feelings. I’m sure everyone of you has a similar story to tell, and I look forward to reading your blogs and your stories and relating to them. 

But all that I have done and all that I achieved could not be done without the support of so many people. To name everyone would require another 30 blogs. 

But I would like to make mention of a couple of special people. My maid Kaniamma who has stood like a rock beside me for 18 years. Everyone who knows me knows her. The story goes that if you are lost in a jungle, and you just listened you will hear my high-pitched shriek – “Kaniamma” and find your way home. Kaniamma is a tall, big made woman. She has a big smile and boundless energy for all my mad schemes. For all her size, she is a scaredy cat and will run at the sight of a lizard just like me. 

Another person I would like to mention is my driver, Muruganandam He has been the closest replacement to Sunderarajan. He too has stood by me, and the family in tough times, but more importantly has participated in many of my Kreeda initiatives. He is a part of all Kreeda events and joins in the games and fun with the enthusiasm of a child.

To my wonderful family and my fabulous friends, I say thank you. I received a message yesterday telling me not to stop after the 30^th blog, but this part of the journey is over.  However, the story does not end here. There is more to come, so keep reading.